Why was this Mother's Day so different?

I believe that Mother's should be celebrated and honored every day of the year, but I also understand the gesture of Mother's Day... and I'll take it. This year was my 6th Mother's Day. For some reason, it just seemed so different than all the others. Until this morning, I couldn't quite figure out why it was so different.

Me and my boys

 It's my perspective... learning to find the joy in the little things in life.

My hubby had to work part of the day in the office on Saturday, so he didn't get his full weekend to unwind. However, he was still up with the boys around 6:30am yesterday. That's was so sweet of him to do this, even though he wasn't fully rested.

Oddly, I didn't feel the need to jump out of bed and help him. I was going to let him take care of me today. See, that's what is different. I'm letting someone take care of me for a day. In the past, I've had to stop myself because I'm picking at how hubby is stacking the dishwasher or correcting the kids. This is self-destructive behavior. We are in this thing (LIFE) together, and we need to learn from each other. I don't know everything!!

At any rate, I took my time getting out of bed and got myself ready for the day. Not until I was ready, did my hubby send the boys upstairs to greet me. I forgot how nice it is to have some alone time in the morning.

Regus #1 bounded into the room and greeted me with his precise words, "Happy Mother's Day!!"

Then, Regus #2 bounced in with his "smiley" face (one of his many nicknames) and blurted out, "Happy Other's Day, Mommy!"

When I came downstairs, Hubby had breakfast waiting for me at the table — along with coffee, juice, and the newspaper.

Ahh... what a wonderful time!

Everyone else had already eaten, so I was able to enjoy the meal by myself. It wasn't quiet, but that wasn't important. I was surrounded by my family. The boys were playing reasonable well in the living room, and hubby was cleaning up the kitchen. Initially, I had to fight the urge to gulp down breakfast and help with the boys or with the dishes. Instead, I sat quietly and sipped my coffee. Again, I was letting them take care of me.

After church, we all took a nap; and I had some time for reflection. As I leafed through one of my old journals, I came across a copy of a poem I wrote for my mom... sometime in high school or maybe college. My mom is such an amazing, prayerful mom. As a child, I remember her waking me up after she had already been awake and praying for over an hour. The fact that she was awake before me made me feel safe and prepared for the day. I've gone through periods of time where I've woken up well before the boys to exercise and get ready for the day. However, I have neglected that over the past few months, and it makes a big difference! With this reflection, I'm not putting myself down. Instead, I'm giving myself permission to learn and move on. That feels good.

Here's my poem to my mom... and still the prayer of my heart:

A Mother's Touch

You can see it in her children's eyes.
It is her love.
It is the way she awakens them each morning
With a smile from her lovely face.
She glows like an angel
Because she has just seen God's face.
She holds her children in her arms
As God holds each one of us in His.
The warmth and comfort she gives
Is a mirror of Christ's undying love.
Oh, to have a Mother's touch.

I know that I won't always be perfect about getting up early in the morning, but I know that it's ok to take time for me in the morning. It may take a little more effort on my part. In the end, my children and I will reap the rewards of a prepared and focused mommy.

I pray that all the Moms know that they are loved and needed. For all the Moms of little ones, Mother's Day will soon feel like a special day. I know it's tough when little ones still need a lot of attention, and they are just showing how much they love and need you. I wish I could have seen that a couple years ago. Well, I guess I'm just a slow learner.

Blessings!

Foodie Friday: Sacrificing Cost Not Flavor... Cuban Black Beans

People often ask my how I cook healthy meals for my family with such a small budget. Some look at me like I must not be feeding my family. Believe me, we eat well. I just buy most items on sale, don't buy too many pre-packaged items, and try to shop seasonly.

One of my favorite, versatile foods is the dried bean. They are much cheaper than their canned counterpart and pack a lot of protein. Plus, they hold a lot of flavor. Since my husbby's family is part Cuban, I've been introduced to a delicious family recipe for Cuban Black Beans.

My husband's late grandfather is from Cuba. He and my hubby's grandmother worked together to create this recipe, based on what he remembered as a child and young adult in Cuba.This recipe is a bit different from Cuban Black Beans that you might order from a Cuban restaurant, in that this recipe has a thicker sauce. I prefer the thicker sauce because the entire recipe lends itself to many different uses. I can guarantee that most people have all these ingredients already on hand in their pantry.

This is a great recipe, if you need to feed a crowd. For my little family, I can get several meals out this — making it an extra frugal meal. Score!

Before I get to the family recipe, here are a few of my favorite ways to use up a single batch of the recipe (it makes a crock-pot full of black beans):

• Main course: Serve the beans over a bed of yellow rice and roasted chicken. We like to have it with a side salad.
• Side dish #1: Serve a smaller portion over a bed of rice, all along side sliced, grilled chicken or steak. As pictured above, I've served it with grilled zucchini and toasted cuban bread with tomato and basil.
• Side dish #2: Serve like a soup -- topped with sour cream and freshly chopped cilantro. Oh, and don't forget to squeeze a bit of fresh lime juice over the top, just before serving. Yummy!
• Ingredient: I like to mixed this into roasted tomato and corn quesadillas.

FAMILY CUBAN BLACK BEANS
Recipe by Grandma Grace and  Papaw Gus

Ingredients:

1 – 16 oz bag dry black beans (Goya brand)

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 Bay leaf

1/3 cup olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 small can tomato paste

1 small jar sliced green olives (stuffed with pimentos)

Directions:

1. The night before, rinse beans in bowl under cold water. Discard any floating beans. Remove any stones and drain beans.
2. Place beans in crockpot and cover with water. Make sure there is about 3 inches of water covering beans. Add bay leaf, salt, and baking soad. Cover and soak overnight.
3. In morning, turn crockpot to HIGH. Cook for about 6 hours (do not remove lid). Or set to LOW for 8-9 hours. Beans are done when they can be mashed with a fork.
   NOTE: make sure about ½ inch of water above beans during cooking. If it needs more water, pour in hot water.
4. Once beans are cooked: In skillet, saute oil and garlic in olive oil until onions are clear. Do NOT burn!
5. Pour contents of skillet (oil, onion, and garlic) into crockpot and stir. Return cover and cook for an additional 15-20 minutes.
6. Add can of tomato paste; stir until dissolved. Return cover and cook for an additional 15 minutes.
7. Pour sliced olives and all juice into crockpot; stir, return cover, and cook for addition 10-15 minutes.
8. Taste broth to see if salty enough.
   
   IMPORTANT: The sauce of the beans should be fairly thick. If not thick enough after all cooking, pour sauce (no beans) into pot. Simmer on stove until sauce reduces to desired thickness and stir back into beans.

Keeping tabs on all the electronics

We enjoy electronic gadgets and our share of audio-visual equipment. However, we've never been the gotta-have-the-latest TV kind of people. We've been shopping and researching for about 6 months and recently bought a new TV and Blu-ray. I love that my hubby is a big researcher when it comes to big purchases!

At any rate, I was a bit overwhelmed with the sheer volume of manuals for all the equipment. Although, I know hubby already knows (wink wink) all the in's and out's of every device we purchase, I like to have them on hand to reference. Maybe it's because I'm a tech writer and love reading manuals. In either case, I wanted to keep up with them. After hunting through my office-supply bin. Yes, I keep a bin of office supplies — stuff that I find super cheap during back-to-school shopping specials. I found an accordion file. This is it! I can use a different section for each device.

Before I could explain to hubby what I was doing, I broke out my other favorite gadget, my label printer; and I started my next project. Thankfully, hubby lets me do all the organizing I want. He usually just smiles and lets me be happy with my nerdiness.

Now, this dedicated accordion file lives in the bottom cabinet of our entertainment cabinet.

During the first few weeks, hubby was surprised how many times we needed to use the manual — to change settings, figure out to set up on internet capabilities, etc. Rather than running back and forth to our file cabinet, I just had to open the accordion file to get the needed information. So cool!

Yes, the accordion file can be useful for corralling all sorts of paper clutter; but now (for me, at least) it's a great storage box for all those electronics manuals.

How do you like to keep up with all your electronics manuals and receipts?

New Series: Never too old to learn

I know this is so over-used: "You're never too old to learn." If you don't already know this about me, I've always loved to learn. No, I don't think you get it. School was my favorite part of the day. My friends are nodding now. They received many notes back with grammar corrections on them. Somehow, they still liked me. If you weren't there to learn, I was not a happy camper. Yes, I'm slowly learning not to be so serious.

This week, I'm doing some self-exploration on the topic of learning. From various places and experiences, the opportunity to learn and discover can come from many sources.  At times, it's hard to just sit, relax, and reflect on the new knowledge. Then, on some days, I think I've figured out it all. Those are the really funny days because my children know how to keep me humble... like throwing a huge fit in the middle of a home improvement store. My children? Um, yes... that was my child kicking and screaming on the floor with me two steps away trying to figure out how to stay sane, calm my child, and look like I know what on earth I'm doing.

Sometimes, it helps to have a little outside help to keep things in focus. My parents came to visit for a week and a half, and it was glorious. Well, aside from the freak tornadoes that swept through central North Carolina and my dad having to fly overseas for an unexpected business trip, it has been wonderful to sit and learn from them. There are times that I want to say that I've accomplished something special to be able to speak on the same level with my Mom. However, there's just still so much I have yet to learn. So, I have to close my mouth and remember that she has wisdom to impart to me... especially in dealing with the screaming child. She smiles and reminds me that I was just like that. Somehow she survived. Somehow I will survive this stage with my dearest three-year old. I'm honored to be a mommy to my two boys (as trying as some days may seem), and we will make it.

Photo courtesy: My Dad

I know it's still a bit early for Mother's Day, but I feel like everyday is a tribute to my Mom. Her beautiful example is why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Although we don't get to have coffee together very often, I want to savor each visit with her — as infrequent as it may be. Well, I guess I do have Skype to keep us connected, but it's not quite the same as her sitting at my kitchen table. I'm so thankful to have my Mom as one of my dearest friends. I love that we can chat about so many things in life, and I still appreciate and need her gentle guidance. Thanks, Mom!!

I pray that every young mother has a Mom to look up to. If not, I hope that you can find help through a mentor. When my mom isn't there, I'm thankful that I can turn to my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law. They are my mentors.

Nice plates and table manners: a recipe for a relaxing evening

I just realized the other day that we've never really used plastic plates for the kids. I wish I could say it was because we thought plastic was bad or that we're trying to raise our kids with good manners. However, neither of those are true. In my limited cabinet space, I've only had room for my everyday white porcelain plates. Albeit, I have about 20 place settings of it... all wedding gifts, of course.

At any rate, I never really did use that many plastic bowls or plates for the boys. When they were learning to feed themselves (and were stubborn about it), I did use plastic bowls. However, I've since lost all of those.

When I think about it, it does make life a lot easier when going out to eat or to someone else's home. I don't have to worry about my kids breaking the dishes. To be honest, I've broken more plates and bowls than they have. Yes, I am clumsy!

So, in the grand scheme of things, it turned out ok that I didn't have tons of plastic plates and bowls. If I had more than just two kids, I might be saying something else. However, this is where I am right now, and I love that my family can use nice plates every night for dinner.

We're also working on dinnertime manners. Just the other night, my Hubby sat down and told the boys that we were going to have a peaceful dinner. To me, it seemed like a tall order. Regus #2 attempted to protest, as he did not take a very good nap and was grumpy. After a few minutes of self-pitty and pouting, Regus #2 conceded.  Then, we all enjoyed a lovely, relaxing dinner. It so nice to see that manners can make the dinnertime process so much more relaxing. The boys are learning to ask for permission to leave the table. This helps in SO many areas: (1) we enjoy our entire meal together; (2) the fussing is now at a minimum; (3) it helps with clearing the table as they must put their plate in the sink; and (4) our out-to-eat adventures are not so stressful because the understand the rules.

What dinnertime habits do you have that make it a more relaxing time?

Foodie Friday: Quinoa

Let's be honest, I'm really not that adventurous when it comes to trying new things — especially when it comes to food. There, I said it! My hubby is the adventurous eater of our family.

When I first met my Hubby, I was a ranch dressing kind of girl. And by that, I mean, give me a little salad with my dressing. After some encouragement from him, I started breaking out of it. I always hated vinagrettes because I told myself I didn't like vinegar. I still don't like the smell of it, but it does some amazing things to foods! Where am I going with this, you ask.

If I must, I will go on. In October 2009, I heard about a grain called Quinoa. Supposedly, it's the most well-balance grain with tons of protein per serving. Plus, it's really easy to digest and is huge on the gluten-free scene. Well, I'm certainly not gluten-free, but it did sound interesting. And that's as far as my curiosity went. Then, over Thanksgiving, I met some of my husband's relatives that were visiting from Tennessee. I was fascinated by all the things they made from scratch. I was just starting my whole foods journey and was full of questions. His aunt made a Greek Quinoa salad. I love a good greek salad (tomatoes, cucumbers, kalamata olives, herbs, and olive oil/lemon juice dressing... yummy!), so I gave it a try... without my Hubby's prompting. Big step for me! Oh.My.Goodness! It was outstanding. I love those foods that make you feel refreshed and not weighed down. It was so good! She suggested, as I've read elswhere online, that you need to rinse the quinoa well before cooking it. This process removes some of the bitter taste it can have.

You can find Quinoa one of several sections of your store: gluten-free section, grain section (near couscous), or with the flours. It's not the cheapest of grains, unless you find a way to buy it in bulk. If you are in the Raleigh area, I would suggest you stop by the Grain Mill of Wake Forest. They have it for the cheapest I've seen it, without having to buy it in bulk. They are small family owned shop with all sorts of whole-foods goodness. I believe you can shop online, too.

At any rate, I've had a blast finding new ways to use quinoa in my cooking. I've made the classic greek quinoa salad, a quinoa pudding (good for breakfast, too), and a crockpot recipe with chicken (I bit like a stew but very yummy).

My favorite this week has been a variation of this Quinoa Apple Raisin Almond Salad.

I love to make a batch of quinoa (1 cup uncooked = 3-4 cups cooked) and let it cool in the fridge. Throughout the week, I'll use the quinoa for a lunch serving (1/2 cup cooked) or a snack (1/4 cup cooked) and add in my ingredients and toss with a homemade dressing.

Here's my lunch from yesterday: my version of the Quinoa Apple (no Raisin) Almond Salad. This picture is before I added the dressing and mixed. To change up the recipe a bit more, I added some green onions to add a bite to the salad. I also like to add flat-leaf parsley or cilantro (didn't add it in this one, though). The green onion or herbs add a light-fresh flavor to the salad.

Ingredients (for single serving)
Salad:
1/2 cup cooked quinoa, cooled
1/4 cup crisp apple (I like to use Fuji or Pink Lady), cubed into 1/4" pieces
1/4 cup sliced almonds
1-2 Tbsp green onion, sliced

Dressing:
1/2 tsp raw honey
1-2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1-2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
Pinch of salt

Directions

Combine salad ingredients into bowl. In small bowl, whisk dressing ingredients until honey is thoroughly dissolved. Pour dressing over salad and toss to coat. Enjoy!

My measurements are still a bit general. Add more honey or olive oil/lemon juice depending on how sweet you want it. I don't like it really sweet, so I don't use that much honey. If you use regular honey, that will be more sweet than raw honey. The point is, just play with the measurements to figure out what you like best.

I have to make my salads in individual portions. Otherwise, I will eat WAY too much. Albeit, this salad is very good for you, so eating a little extra won't be an issue... but I don't trust myself.

After making this, I realized this could be considered a Vegan dish, too. I'm definitely a meat lover, but I thought I'd mention that too.

Almost forgot, I love making an asian-style quinoa salad, too. Here's the basic idea: Quinoa, fresh broccoli florets, carrots, cooled cooked chicken, green onions, and your favorite asian-style dressing. Right now, I like Annie's Shitake Mushroom dressing.

Have you had Quinoa before? Do you have a favorite recipe? I'd love to hear about it.

Dealing with oily skin: Can oil cleansing really work?

I've had oily skin since high school and have been battling crazy acne, especially during both pregnancies. There are so many products on the market that treat acne; and I think I've tried most of them. Yes, I have to admit that I love the feeling of an oil-free face. There's nothing quite like putting on a mud mask and feeling the oils being drawn out of my skin. However, this relief was so very short-lived. By morning, the oil would be back. I would be counting the days until the next time I could apply the mask again. It seemed like this was a cycle. My face was just so oily ALL during the day.

I did start using some cream cleansers, and the production of oil did seem to drop. However, the acne was still there.

I heard about oil cleansing a little over a year ago on another blog (can't remember which now), and it sounded interesting. Oil could actually balance my skin? I mean, I know that I had a ton of oil on my face; and I had a feeling that the soaps, cleansers, and acne treatments could be part of the problem.

Then, enter Stephanie's vlog on oil cleansing. I was desperate to try anything. With oil cleansing, it's not just any oil. It's castor oil and either olive oil or sunflower oil. I chose sunflower oil. Now, for the perfectionist in me, finding the right mixture was a bit daunting. Stephanie links to a few other sources that give information about proportions of castor oil to olive oil, based on skin type. For my skin, I need mostly castor oil.

It's been just under a year, and I am still loving the oil cleansing method. I am no longer stripping my skin of ALL oils. Instead, I'm only taking out the bad oils and dirt that cause acne. When I finish cleansing my skin, it feels very soft. It doesn't feel too dry or too oily.

It feels so good to put something on my skin that doesn't have crazy chemicals and is SO cost effective. The cost savings is so awesome!! I've used the same large bottle of sunflower oil (about $12 for organic) for 10 months and still have so much left. I've only gone through two small-to-medium bottle of castor oil (average of $3 each). So that's less than $20 for facial cleansing for a year!

There are times when I don't think I have time to oil cleanse every night, and I'll use a gentle cleanser. Even then, I can feel the soap stripping my skin of oil. My skin gets so dry that I need to put straight sunflower oil on it. *Gasp* I never thought I'd ever need to add oil to my skin. So cool!

My monthly visits are no longer riddled with huge acne breakouts. The only physical sign now is that I might see an extra white head start forming. All I do is massage that part of my face with my oil cleanser a little more.

All in all, the overall complexion of my skin has improved; and I've seen a dramatic decrease of oil on my face. I just found out  from Simple Mom that adding a drop or two of tea tree oil can act as an antiseptic and will help even more. I'm trying that now to see if that blocks all breakouts. So far, it has been tackling the less-frequent blemishes with a knock-out punch. I really didn't think it would make a big difference, but it has. I don't use this new version (with tea tree oil) to remove eye makeup because I'm nervous about the tea tree oil. Instead, I just use the sunflower oil to dissolve the eye makeup — which is does so effortlessly.

Here's my concoction (for my very oily skin)...

You have to understand that it is a HUGE accomplishment for me to "eyeball" any measurements. I'm loving that I'm free enough to be OK that it's not exact!!

• Small clear cosmetic bottle (found them in the travel section of Target for under $3 for a three pack)
• Fill just over 1/2 bottle with castor oil
• Fill 1/4 of bottle with sunflower oil
• Leave remaining part of bottle empty to allow for mixing

Before each use, I shake it up and pour a quarter-size amount into my hand and gently rub into my skin — focusing on my problem spots (forehead, nose, and chin). Gently steam with a hot (not scalding), wet wash cloth. I'll steam twice and wipe off excess oil. I only have to do this in the evenings.

This winter, I found that I needed to add a little more sunflower oil; so I just added it after I put my mixture into my hand. That way, I don't have to make a separate batch.

My profile picture was taken at the end of the day with most of my makeup worn off. To even be OK with taking a picture with little make up is a HUGE deal for me!! It's so nice that my skin is not full of acne.