Friday, February 25, 2011

Foodie Friday: Why I love to cook

Something about cooking brings a smile to my face. I think it is the memories I have created with my Mom and other family members. The kitchen is a place of give and take… and lots of good conversation. In the small kitchens I grew up in, two cooks were the max. Even then, you had to get along (or just be nice) with the other cook, or you’d be driving each other nuts!

My cooking adventures began when I was 6 or 7, when my Mom recruited me to help peel the potatoes for some kind of side dish. I do not remember the side dish, just the awful work for peeling potatoes.

Honestly, why do I have to do this? There really is a law against child labor, right?

My motions with the peeler weren’t nearly as smooth and purposeful, as hers; and I really couldn’t hold onto the potatoes all that well. I just wanted to give up. I was a failure! Well, my mother didn’t let me off quite so easily.

After a few pointers on how to hold the potato and a simpler, peel-away-from-your knuckles technique, I finally got a little faster. Granted, mom could still peel 2 to 3 potatoes in the time it took me to do one. At such an early age, my mom was so patient with me.

Looking back now, I see that moment as my Mom welcoming me into the kitchen as a sous chef. Albeit, she would always let me help mix the cake batter or lick the brownie spoon. However, this time was different. I was apart of the meal-preparation process. To this day, my favorite part of cooking is the prep work: chopping and peeling. Give me a chef's knife and some veggies, and I'm a happy girl.

One of my first cookbooks was a handy-me-down from my Mom. I think it was a Betty Crocker’s cookbook for kids. It was spiral bound with illustrations from the fifties. I still love spiral-bound cookbooks because they lay nicely on the counter – you don’t have to use your elbow to hold the page open when your hands are too dirty to touch the book – but I digress.

One year, for Mother’s Day, I desperately wanted to make my mom the heart-shaped cake out of that cookbook… all by myself. I don’t know if it was out of pity or just not wanting to eat my cooking, she helped me. I was so proud of being able to make a cake. I don’t remembered how it tasted but that the adventure was just so much fun!

Although I don't get to cook with my Mom very often, it is a special time for us. We share stories, laugh about the day, or just use the time to relax. I am very blessed to have such amazing in-laws. It has been an honor to cook alongside my husband's grandmother. I feel like she is sharing history with me, when we cook together. I pray that I can pass down this tradition to my children.

When did you start cooking? Do you have a favorite memory?



Thursday, February 24, 2011

Re-usable bags

Before I get started, just wanted to let everyone know that I finally set up a facebook page for my blog, and I hope you "like" it. Plus, there is a link in the sidebar of this blog to get to the page, too.


On to the bags... I like finding unique uses for bags. My husband can tell you that I have way too many bags. Mind you, they are not purses. I have only a few of those. I'm talking about messenger bags, makeup bags, toiletry bags, overnight bags... you name it, I like it. Well, I'm trying to cut back on this excessiveness and only keeping those bags that can be used for more than one purpose. Sigh. Ok, I'm done with my pitty party. Now, on to the challenge!

Today, I'd like to focus on those clear bedding bags. Many of us have one size or another, whether for the comforter, duvet set, sheet set, or valances. In the past, I've always used them to store other bedding items. Not very inventive, I know.




Over the past few months, I've found several uses for them. The obvious choice is for storing out-of-season or, as in my case, maternity clothes. No, I'm not pregnant; but we are hoping to have more in the future. 

Ok, on to the another use... for a smaller bag, we've started putting all our "learning time" (AKA school) stuff in one bag. That way, we can take the fun stuff wherever we need it. Plus, it prevents us from scattering the school items all over the house. So far, we just store some of the smaller games (alphabet tiles and alphabet bingo), activity books, phonics books, and my lesson planner.

I'm also rediscovering my love of sewing and craft projects. With sewing, comes lots of odds-and-ends fabrics; and I love the remnant bin! I can use the bags to store similar fabrics.

The photo (it's fuzzy, sorry) below shows these three uses: clothing storage (large bag in back), school supplies (smaller bag in front with red trim), and fabric remnants (medium bag in front). Since they are clear, it's easy to see what is inside.



Oh, just had another idea... for the dancer in your family, you can store all the extra tights, leotards, and shoes for safe keeping. Plus, if you have a year-end performance, you can just stick that clear bag into her performance bag. That way, you'll have an emergency bag for the inevitable snagged tights or broken shoes. Been there. Done that!


Do you have these bags at home, too? What do you like to store in them?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The bright side of the terrible-two's (or three's)

Screaming fits. Unpredictable moods. No, I'm not talking about a teenager. It's a toddler going through the terrible two's. Keep in mind that it doesn't always happen at two. My first one was a terrible two, and my second was a thrashing three (and I hope we're almost through it).

Now to the title of today's post: How can there be a bright side? Well, let's think about why it is happening. Our children are gaining more control over their bodies and voices. They are testing and trying, and this is a good (no, GREAT) thing. They are exploring the world around them. However, they can't always master everything the first time. They often get frustrated. Sometimes it's hard to see past the grumpy kids, but we are guiding them through these new freedoms  and obstacles in their lives.

I've recently finished reading Dr. Meg Meeker's Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons. To me, it was not the typical parenting book because it didn't talk about discipline techniques. Instead, she just shared the physical and psychological facts about boys and tips on how to help them grow into well-adjusted men. Albeit, I did get lost in some of the medical studies. However, it really made me appreciate my boys.

I grew up with three brothers, and I believe it's no accident that I have been blessed with boys. Going from a sister to a mother does have quite a few differences. With that said, I'm pleasantly reminded of my childhood when I watch my boys fight off the dragons in the backyard with their blazing swords (a few aptly selected twigs). I love watching them carefully inspect a new limb that was knocked out of the tree by the previous night's storm. They circle it, trying to imagine how it fell down and what creatures might be lurking inside. Regus #1 is my tinker-er, my engineer. He's always trying to make a new gadget. This makes him SO much like my middle brother. I'm thankful for this because I love getting tips from him on how to make games for him or ways to challenge him. Regus #2 is my thinker. He'd rather think his way through something. Often, this prevents him from being a little more adventurous, but it's adorable!


I look forward to the next challenges and victories with my boys.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Getting a little nervous

So... I've been a little nervous to post for the past few days. In my efforts to be a good blogger, I've been trying to read lots of other successful bloggers. They have tons of great business advice (I'm nowhere near any of that), but it also makes me a bit nervous. Some talk about being careful not to repost other bloggers' ideas. I am always cautious when it comes to intellectual property and plagiarism, so I was feeling a bit shy about posting anything. I don't think I've stolen any ideas and tried to give credit, where credit is due. However, you've probably noticed my over-analytical style can also lead to fear, and that's were I've been this week. I do have about three posts in various levels of editing. Hopefully, some of them will make it past my crazy editing. Haha! At any rate, this is my post to "get out there" again. I wanted to have more than one posting this week.

On a better note, the boys and I have enjoyed the crazy, beautiful weather today. I needed to run some errands near the airport today and decided to make a stop by the airport observation park, and it turned into a wonderful "Almost On Purpose" afternoon. Yes, I am milking my blog title for all it's worth. After all, it says everything about my life.

My oldest son (for the sake of this blog will be called Regus #1) never ceases to amaze me. He has become so outgoing and generous. My husband and I were both shy as kids, so it's so funny to watch him play so effortlessly. At any rate, when we packed up this morning, he asked to pack a few extra sand toys for, as he put it, "...the new friends I'm going to make today." It was so thoughtful of him, and he made me smile. He is learning how to share so well. Plus, I'm guessing that he knows a plethora of Tonka trucks and sand toys would be irresistible to the other 4-and 5-year old boys. Well, he was right! He was like a magnet for all the other little boys. They had a blast digging in the sand, pretending to be pilots (afterall, we were watching airplanes take off and land), and chasing monsters. It was a picture-perfect moment.

Earlier, I struck up a conversation with another Mom of a four year old girl. After some conversation, she went to her car to grab her camera and began pictures of her daughter. Duh, it was a beautiful day. Why didn't I think to bring the camera? Next thing I knew, she was snapping pictures of all the boys running and jumping. She leaned over and said she'd be happy to e-mail the pictures to me. What a blessing!

So my little boy, er, man is teaching me to be more outgoing. You never know who you might meet along the way.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The "Mom" Resumé

Ah, yes, I can virtually see the rolling eyes. Mom's don't have resumés! I've seen many evening-news specials on the trials of stay-at-home moms trying to get back into the workforce. They just don't have the skill set or the recent job history to make a smooth transition. If you're like me, it makes me flustered to hear mothers talked about this way. I don't say that because I am a mom but because I know all the work my mother put in for me and my brothers (though we didn't always reciprocate her efforts or love... sorry, mom. I'm getting what I deserved now). We need to stop seeing stay-at-home moms as victims. We can gain and use skills that are also used in the business arena.

I am happy that my initial intentions for a post are usually visible but also how readers glean other tips and ideas. I call those the "Almost on Purpose" ideas. At any rate, my initial desire for this post is for the following areas:
  1. The person who does not see how a stay-at-home mom has valuable skills outside the home.
  2. The woman struggling to decide whether or not to be a stay-at-hom mom because you'd just be too bored.
  3. The woman who is already a stay-at-home mom that doesn't see her value
This "Mom" Resumé idea has taken so much longer to develop than I had expected. Here's my premise: Stay-at-home moms should not feel like their "at home" time should be a blank spot on their resumé. To me, being a stay-at-home mom can be a valid career choice (though not lucrative, in monetary terms). For those moms want to go back to the workforce after kids are school, that's cool, too. I just want to encourage moms that the things you do at home and in your community are WORTH putting on a resumé. You DO have valuable skills to offer your family and others. 
    As always (whether or not you want it), here's some background. It's two stories, actually. During my pursuit to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, I met this amazing lady at my work. She was what I wanted to be, if I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom. She was organized, commanded attention, and was very kind all at the same time. For some reason, I shared with her my desire to be a stay-at-home mom. She did not look at me with disgust but with bright eyes. Until now, I did not realize that she was a stay-at-home mom until a few months ago. Her son was three and was starting a part-time preschool. She was approached to work on a project at our company and decided that this was a good time to get back in. Wow! An easy transition back into the work place? I had to hear more. She explained that being a stay-at-home mom gave her more opportunities to be involved in her community. Plus, it was been an opportunity to teach her son about helping others. These tasks could be helping at the library, joining a PTA group, being involved at church. In my desire to be a stay-at-home mom, I had not even seen that far into the future.

    Next, I was thinking about the time that Mom had to go back to work while all four of us kids were in school. Paying for private school for 4 kids, insurance for 2 teenage drivers, and a daughter in nightly ballet classes was NOT cheap. At any rate, Mom set out to find some part-time work. She found work as at a CPA firm. My Mom is one of the most amazing women I've ever known. She can make anyone feel completely at ease and share any problems or worries with her without fear of judgment -- a true example of God's love. At any rate, she shared with many of the women that she had been a stay-at-home mom for 17 years. Some of them balked at that. They couldn't imagine being home all day. It just had to be boring. Plus, they didn't think they could afford it. After some discussion, several realized that their income was almost solely going to cover the cost of childcare. Ouch! Slowly, they started to realize that they might like to be the one raising their children, rather than paying someone else to do so. Her conversations with them were never to make them feel guilty (or for anyone reading this, either). Instead, she was gently showing them that being at home with your kids and taking care of your family can be fulfilling.

    So, I love the juxtaposition of these two stories... trying to get home and learning that it's ok to be home.

    Making a career of being a stay-at-home mom
    I've only been a full-time stay-at-home mom for 3 1/2 years now, and I can say with full confidence that I am not bored. If you've read some of my past posts, you know that it took time to find enjoyment in being home. Raising children is not an overnight activity. It is a day-to-day activity. Our children do not magically turn into responsible citizen. They become responsible citizens because we teach and train them. One of my sister-in-laws (hope she's ok that I'm writing this) is at home part-time with her kids. She has taught me that you can be a homeschool mom, even if your kids are in school away from home. At first, I was like, "Huh? Isn't that an oxymoron?" After she explained more, she said that all learning should start at home. All learning from school should be reinforced at home. Our schools and teachers should not be burdened with teaching manners and morals to our kids. That's our responsibility. Oh, I get it now. Every family engages in some form of homeschooling. At any rate, our time with our kids is valuable.

    The resumé
    In most cases, a resumé will be drafted for a specific job posting. However, the purpose of the post is to take a few typical mom duties and show how they really do apply to the corporate / business world.

    Supply-chain manager
    Supply-chain management is the task of maintain proper levels of goods for future sales. In addition, you must work closely with vendors to procure the best prices on the parts of your product, in order to maximize your profit. No profit = can't pay employees. Can't pay employees = can't stay in business. Yes, I am over simplifying things, but it's just to make a point.

    How does this apply to a stay-at-home mom? Well, as I noted in one of my earlier posts, I may not contribute much money to the household income, but I am certainly capable of controlling how much leaves our home. Yes, I am talking about (du, du, duuuuum): shopping, aka retail therapy. Yes, shopping can be fun but not when you get home and realize you don't have the money to cover it. Plus, it's funny how that "therapy" is somehow always still needed. It's never quite enough.

    By planning menus and shopping with a list, you will be less tempted to purchase unnecessary items. On the reverse side, I have been guilty of not buying enough and trudging right back to the store... only to buy too much. Where is the balance in all of this? My best tip is to take a week to conduct a study. Yes, perform a basic study = of what items you use and eat on a daily and weekly basis. (How to apply the "The Scientific Method" to your home is for another post. Again, I digress.) Don't over complicate this. Just write down how much you use each week, then figure out how much that is per month. I was shocked at first. This did give me a chance to see where I could cut back and change. At any rate, divide that by how many times you go to the grocery store.

    Here's an example. We consume 1 box of Simply GoGurt tubes / week = 4 boxes / month. I complete my grocery shopping 2x's / month. That means, I need to buy 2 boxes of yogurt tubes / trip. Now, I know that I will have enough yogurt for the boys every day. Plus, I know how many coupons I need to keep stocked. Note: my next cost-cutting measure is to make my own yogurt. However, I'm learning to being gracious with myself and be happy in taking baby steps.

    The stores are your vendors, and your home is your business. As you become more aware of prices, you find out which stores have the best deals on each product. Then, you have to weigh that against how much it will cost you to drive there (if gas is too high).  As we learn how to make good use of our homes and assets, we are learning the same basic skills of those in the supply-chain management field.

    Computer skills
    I'm not talking about surfing the web, but I have seen job postings for good researchers. At any rate, I'm talking about the basics: word processing and spreadsheets. If you had to use these in school or college, you can still use them at home. You can use spreadsheets and pivot tables to track your spending habits and budget. Yes, there are all sorts of cool software for making shopping lists (I've been tempted to design one), but we need to use our computer skills regularly. Even if you're not a list-maker, you can use it to add up your Christmas shopping list. Plus, you can use a word processing program as an outlet for ideas. I use a combination of good ol' pen and paper and word processing (I can type faster than I can write). If you have skills in graphic design and have access to software, use it. Create pictures for your home. Design your own invitations for parties. Design fliers for your library's next book fair. Just use your skills. When you're interviewing, don't they ask you how often you use the software? Well, if you've been using it weekly, you can feel confident and say so. 

    Good communicator

    With children, we're always learning how to communicate effectively. I want you to realize that, as a parent, you have to learn how to clearly communicate to multiple audiences: children, young adults, and adults. Obviously, you would explain to a child how a lawn mower works differently than you would explain it to a teenager. With children, you have to remove jargon and add patience. In the business world, you will meet people with many different levels of knowledge. The point is to effectively communicate the same piece of information in a way that each person can understand it and take action.

    I hope you can see where I'm going with this. There are countless other skills that parents, especially stay-at-home moms, learn. Here are a couple more: arbitrator (breaking up fights and finding common ground) and trainer (teaching ABCs and how to clean).

    As mothers, we can use these skills in volunteer positions: church, community center, library, food pantry, or shelter. My parents were an amazing example of how to help those in need. I pray that I can be an example of compassion to my children, as well.

    Thursday, February 10, 2011

    The identity of a writer

    It was August 1999, and I walked into my Creative Writing class. It was my first writing English major course. I was thrilled and tormented at the same time. As a lover (by that, I mean, obsessed) of all things grammar, an English degree seemed like the logical choice. However, I felt that I was not a writer. I didn't just sit around thinking up cool plot lines for a book. If I did, my red pen (AKA, my brain) was always nearby to promptly mark through the bad sentence structure. How could I be a writer, if I couldn't write anything original?

    I found a seat in the middle row. I looked around the room. I felt like I didn't belong. In each chair, sat students that clearly stayed up too late thinking up the next NY Times best sellers. Then, there's me... notebooks all neatly stacked, all necessary writing utensils (pencil, pen, and highlighter) in a neat row, and a printed syllabus covered with a sticky-note or two with questions for the professor.

    Could everyone tell I was a fake? I couldn't write. I have an amazingly, awesome family that has always encouraged me at everything I did. So, I knew these thoughts were not from my childhood. Looking back, it was my fear of failure. At any rate, I thought, "Should I drop this class to save myself the misery?" No, (I'm also a deeply stubborn girl) I won't let my crazy thoughts win.

    The Lord knew what I needed because He sent a professor from Minnesota (that's were my Mom was born)... even went to the same college as my grandparents. He had a very clear Minnesotan accent, which my family can enact at any moment. He also taught me to value the North Carolinian accent as being unique and worth studying. At any rate, this was an unconventional professor. We didn't have a textbook but we did have to share our own writing in class. Ugh, my heart sank the day I had to share mine. I was NOT looking forward to sharing it!

    To make matters worse, he always suggested that we help our fellow writers after they shared their work. I'm sure NO one would even know where to begin. Well, I don't really remember too much about what I wrote or read, just that no one really said much of anything. No surprise there! My professor then said, as if cutting to the heart of the matter, "Are you a slow writer?" I took it as the same as a "slow reader." I stumbled for words, tried to deny it, and reluctantly asked for more clarification. After he asked a few more questions about my writing, I realized that my self-sabotaging style of writing was indeed "slow writing." Well, at least, he knows now. It was an awful class. Could we please hurry things along here!!? I'm ready to get outta here. I didn't want to go back, but I am not a quitter.

    A few classes later, he wanted us to take a moment and write a positive note to a person in class that made a difference for them. Ok, that was never a problem. The problem was just in figuring out which novelist to choose. So, I wrote my note and turned it in. While we were working on another assignment, he sorted through the notes and proceeded to hand the notes to the recipients. He handed out a few and then brought a huge stack to me. What?!! This had to be a mistake? I'm the fraud; don't you remember? As I turned to my classmates, they were all smiling. Maybe they knew I needed some encouragement, but they were all my personal cheerleaders that day. I was so humbled and honored that they noticed me. The notes ranged from: she's very professional to she always has something nice to say. I wish I could say I became a writer that day. But it did make my day and week. I'm still learning how to be a writer. It did lead me to research more careers in writing. And, hey, I found out that there was such a thing as a Technical Writer (creating, editing, testing, or reorganizing technical manuals), and it matched my personality exactly (no sarcasm, honest)!

    More recently, I watched the movie Julie & Julia (about a struggling writer starting a blog about Julia Child's cookbook). When Julie realizes that she may actually become a published writer, she says to her husband, "I'll finally be a writer." He calmly looks at her and says, "You are a writer." Those lines meant a lot to me.

    I am a writer because I am writing, not whether or not I am published.

    My main reason for starting this blog was to share tips that have helped me save money and sanity in my home. However, the added bonus is that I am discovering that I do have a love for composition. I guess it's just another one of those "Almost On Purpose" things. 

    Thanks for reading!

    Monday, February 7, 2011

    Home: Training Ground for Improv

    The other night, as I was racking my brain for some ideas and plans, I was reminded of the 90's improv comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway? hosted by Drew Carey. This was a spin-off of a UK version. At any rate, my family is full of goofy comedians; and we loved this show. One of our favorites portions of the show (which also occurred around the dinner table almost nightly) was the Prop improv. Essentially, the actors / comedians were given a box of over-the-top props and were asked to make up as many uses for the props as possible. Our version, however, were limited to the items on the kitchen table. We often finished our rounds with tears running down our faces and a hunt for the asthma inhaler for Dad. We all love making him laugh — not for the asthma attack that often ensues but for seeing him have fun. These are some of my fondest memories (and playing card games late into the night with enormous bowls of popcorn and M&Ms).

    To get to my point, at times, Mom's are like the comedians with the box of props. Instead of props, we have everyday items. Think about it. If we really needed or wanted something for a new task, we could just run to the giant kitchen store (or as my boy's call it, "Mommy's Store"), but where is the fun in that? Plus, where is the adventure in trying to save some money? I like to keep life interesting.

    Need a new silverware holder for some friends coming over for dinner? Hmm... I do have an almost empty jar of olives in the fridge. "Someone" could just happen to eat the last few, and I could use that for something?

    Well, it looks like this could work...




    The options are endless.

    I remember visiting my grandparents' homes and seeing how resourceful my grandmothers are. At the time, it seemed unnecessary to "keep" some of the things that they did. I'm not talking about hoarding, but they always had extra glass jars. Since staying at home and working to find creative solutions, I now see "glass" differently. I see their glass jars as an image of resourcefulness. I have SO much to learn!

    So, back to glass. It is natural. It can be sanitized easily. It is the most efficiently reused material, and it can be made beautiful with simple changes.

    Obviously, I am not bringing you something ground-breaking or newsworthy, but it's amazing to me how necessity can be an amazingly creative force in my life. Many times, I feel like I need "re-invent the wheel" with finding new things. Instead, I just need to look to our past generations. How did they survive without all our stuff and gadgets. Yes, the gadgets are fun and helpful, but they can get expensive.

    See, I can play improv at my house. Oh, I guess I need to add "improv" to my growing list of skills. I think I need a post on just the skills that moms accumulate. Oh, oh... maybe I'll make it look like a resumé. Stay tuned... this ought to be fun!

    Do you like re-using glass? What is your favorite piece?

    Thursday, February 3, 2011

    My "Almost on Purpose" Story, Part 3

    So, I'm hoping this is my last installment of my "Almost on Purpose" story for the week.

    Note: I've also fixed the blog, so you don't have to "sign in" to leave a comment.

    In part 1, I share my journey to become a stay-at-home mom. In Part 2, I learned to enjoy being at home because I knew I had a plan.

    For part 3, I want to share how I am still learning to love my home. I'm not talking about loving the features of my home but learning that taking care of my home shows my family that I care how they live.

    As a young married couple, maintaining our home was not a big struggle. We both worked full-time and were rarely home. After having kids, I felt like it was a battle for the ages. In corner 1, we have Kristy (me, of course), the struggling stay-at-home mom trying to keep her head above water. In corner 2, we have the house. It's a strong house — full of toys and endless piles of laundry and dishes. And I was losing! When I had people over, they were kind enough to say, "Well, you do have two kids, so it's understandable." I was starting to believe that the mess was inevitable. It just goes with the territory of being a mom.

    I don't know if anyone else is like me, but I can't sleep well or rest if I have a mess around me. It's like there's unfinished business. If you've read my Keeping It Together post, you know that I love to be organized. So, you have to understand how frustrating it was for this Type A woman to not have a handle on her home. I'm just being honest here.

    My husband was never rude about it, but he would not be a in a good mood when he got home — for good reason. The house was messy. Who really wants to leave a proverbial mess at work and come home to a literal mess at home? Um, not me! But that's what I was doing. I would then feel so guilty when he would help out. I always thought he was helping because he was mad at me.

    Don't you love how I put thoughts and words into my husband's mouth without any confirmation of his feelings? I'm sure NO other female in history has done this, right?

    So, to recap, we do have a plan to get out of debt; but now I needed a plan to get out of this mess. I started reading any books I could find on home organization. However, most of them suggested you start with a clean home and then gave tips for staying organized. That was no help because I needed help getting out of this mess. If you've ever tried the tactics on the clean-house shows, they just haul everything out of the room and sort it on  the lawn or in another room. <Insert cough and clearing of the throat here> In case you haven't noticed, I don't have extra rooms lying around to sort my mess or time to have all my stuff hanging around outside while I sort. Sorry... no can do!

    Then, I remembered (most likely the Lord) my mom and her friends following this website and e-mail reminders to clean their house. I remember how excited she always was to clean her kitchen... ewww, that's weird! Well, in my desperation, I checked out the FlyLady. Her belief is about taking little steps. Our homes did not turn into a complete disaster overnight, so why should we expect ourselves to clean it in one day. That hit me between the eyes. Her e-mails for the newbies don't allow you to jump ahead to bigger tasks, just one new task a week. Interestingly, once you get started with one space it's hard to stop. The FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. Once you can accept yourself as you are, it's much easier to bless (clean) your home. I'm not always on top of things, but she just says to "jump in where you are." And that is so encouraging. I'm not so busy beating up myself for not getting that extra load of laundry done. I can jump in where I am... just set the timer for 15 minutes and see how much I can get done. It's amazing!!

    To me, it's not archaic to want to keep my home nice (even though it still is not always perfect). Keeping my home is my job and joy. By finally accepting myself (recovering from perfectionism), there is so much more excitement in trying new hobbies. There are amazing artists on both sides of my families. I always felt so inferior (my own silly thinking) and decided it was easier to not try new things.

    I wasn't any good at it, so why disappoint myself by trying? Crazy, I know.

    Now, I can enjoy my own art through cooking, crafts, and sewing... and ballet, of course. If it's not perfect, it's ok. If you know me, you know that it's a HUGE deal for me to say, "It's ok; I'll try again later." I think I may cry just thinking how far I've come.

    I look forward to all the new challenges I'll face. The dread is gone. The fear is gone. Only expectation (not anxiety) is left.

    I hope you've enjoyed reading my "Almost on Purpose" journey. It certainly is not over, but now I look forward to bringing you all my accidental discoveries!

    Wednesday, February 2, 2011

    My "Almost on Purpose" Story, Part 2

    If you haven't read Par t 1 of my Almost On Purpose story, you can read my journey to become an "Almost On Purpose" stay-at-home mom.

    Today, I'm venturing into the rarely talked-about area... learning to enjoy being at home. That right, I'm being honest. Initially, I did not love it. I can hear the gasping now. I was gasping at myself, as I was feeling it. Crazy, right? I was enjoying being with my kids and learning new ways to teach them, but I felt like I had no direction.

    At my job, schedules were made to be kept and followed. At home, I enjoyed routine and schedules, but I learned that schedules can quickly go out the window. My problem was that I was chasing them out the window, rather than adapting.

    At my job, I studied data and patterns to find problems and suggest solutions. At home... patterns? What patterns? It's just chaos.

    At work, I loved to develop new procedures and manuals and train personnel. At home... help! I need a training manual!

    At work, I would be paid to work 8:00 am - 5:00 pm. At home, all work is unpaid. Start time was around 6:00 AM to 8:00 PM. Oh, and then, you are still on-call the rest of the night. Oh, and did I mention, I was not paid in US dollars? I was paid in kisses and hugs but couldn't see it yet.

    The money thing was a struggle for me (and us). We did have enough money coming in to cover the monthly expenses but had no savings. If a problem or emergency came up, we used credit cards. Even Christmas was a struggle. I can hear Dave Ramsey's sarcasm now (paraphrasing here): "Ok, folks, don't mean to surprise you here, but Christmas will be coming this year. Just wanted to fore warn you!" More on Dave in a minute. We didn't use the credit cards for anything big, but the balances were adding up. We even tried moving the debt from low-interest rate cards to zero-interest rate cards. But this silly thing happens, something is always due.

    I began to notice that the only time I was happy was when payday came, and I could do some grocery shopping. I wasn't using coupons or "shopping sales" then, so the money went quickly. And so did my misplaced happiness. Each day, I found myself just waiting for hubby to come home, so I could just talk to someone. My love of cooking was fading because I couldn't find time to do it. It was a struggle. I value the things I learned from Rachel Ray's Thirty-Minute Meals; but with a toddler and a baby, I did not have a solid chunk of thirty minutes to cook. Why were the hobbies that I loved slowly being pulled away from me?

    I always wondered how families that made less than us could pay bills and save. Well, after a big scare, we knew we needed to change something. We found Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book and read through it together in just a few days. Looking back, we used commonsense money principles when we first got married but slipped out of it after buying our home. Back to the book, we sat down and made our plan. It was scary to be honest but also a huge relief. We had a plan and a goal, and we could make it work.

    Part of the plan was finding a way to take a chunk out of the debt to make room. I started looking around my house for things I could sell. This book made me realize that I was holding onto "things" for a false sense of happiness and security. When, in reality, it was holding me back from financial freedom. After selling a few things, we got started. For the first time since having kids, we used bonuses and refunds on paying down debt, rather than buying stuff. We aren't completely out of debt, but it is no longer scary to look at the balances. We are exciting to watch the debt disappear.

    In addition, I started volunteering more at church. I've always known that helping others blesses our souls, but it really took my eyes off my own situation. It helped me find other avenues to use my skills and, most importantly, get me out of the house.

    My joy was no longer in getting the paycheck to spend money but in finding new ways to save it or pay off debt. What a thrill! While I was not bringing money into our home, I could certainly control how much was going out. This is where couponing and smart shopping began. This, in turn, led me to the realization that making food from scratch was cheaper than buying boxed or canned items. Time in my kitchen became experimentation time. I brought the boys in, and we (together) learned how to make pancakes from scratch. My love of cooking was coming back! My style of cooking was changing, and I loved it. And I was cooking more wholesome food for my growing boys.

    My attitude toward my kids was changing, and we were finding FREE ways to learn. My kids responded with amazing excitement. Unknowingly (or I was in denial), I was affecting my kids' sense of security and well-being by not enjoying my time at home.

    So, this is my "Almost on Purpose" story for loving being at home. My degree in technical writing taught me to test solutions (Usability Testing), so I started doing this with everything. If it didn't work, move on and find another solution. What a relief!

    Up next... learning to take care of my home and enjoy it!

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011

    My "Almost on Purpose" Story, Part 1

    I decided it was time to do the "about me" post for my blog, but it looks like it will be several posts over the week. I love how my blog name unintentionally continues to mean so many things for my life.

    Being able to stay at home with my boys... Almost on purpose

    Loving every day of being a stay-at-home mom... Almost on purpose

    Enjoying taking care of my home... Almost on purpose

    Discovering new ways to be thrifty, crafty, and resourceful... Almost on Purpose

    You get the idea. Today's post is sharing my story of becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom.

    When my husband and I were ready to have kids, our finances were not. When we talked about having kids, we always knew that I should be at home with them. However, we had NO idea how hard of a journey that would be. Sure... it's no prob going from a two-income family to a one-income family... NOT! Four years earlier, my husband started out in the computer industry but had recently lost his job and had to settle for jobs that were not in his field. It was wonderful to be at the same company together, but still... how was this going to work? A job within our company opened up, and my husband was able to get back into the computer field. It was a relief but still not enough. One Sunday, on our way home from church, he turned to me and said, "Our God is big enough to provide for us." Let me tell you, my husband does not often speak like this, so I listened. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if we were silly to raise a family without much of a plan. We've grown so much since then that I'm not sure I would want to take back all those experiences.

    He and I were so profoundly affected by our mothers, that we both knew the importance of having me nurture them in their early years. This part was a no-brainer. However, I was not prepared for the intense passion put in my heart for my first child (or my second, for that matter). I began to see Psalm 37:4 in a new light:
    Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
    Was God putting this desire in my heart?

    I was so blown away by the emotion of becoming a mom. I had no idea how much my first baby would change my life and change me (not just my figure but my view of life). There was an intense desire to be at home with him. The nearest I could be to a stay-at-home mom was a part-time mom, and even that still ate at me. Granted, family was taking care of him on my work days, but every time I left him, I felt like I was losing part of me! Was this normal? I've been passionate about things before but not like this.

    The epiphany hit me when a woman was trying to comfort me and unknowingly inspired me to find a way to be at home with my kids. She said, "It will get easier." Oh, I did not want "leaving my baby" to get easier! Each day, week, and month, the Lord brought people in my life to encouragement that it could be done to be on one-income. Little, by little, we began making changes and sacrifices in our lives to reduce our need for my income. Still it wasn't quite enough. I still needed my job. More cuts were made to our budget.

    We hit a bump in the road... In a round of layoffs, at work, my husband's boss was laid off. This was the guy that "believed" in him and saw his potential. It seemed like hope was lost for a promotion or a pay raise. It got worse. He was given more and more responsibilities with no pay increase. Through it all, he kept working hard.

    Then another surprise... I was pregnant again. My first baby was only 15 months old. I'm working part time, desparately trying to find a way to be at home with my baby. Now, I am supposed to take care of two babies? God, are you taunting me? No, He was pushing us to our full potential and getting ready to show us HIS full potential. We were learning to depend on Him.

    In order to be a stay-at-home mom, we were ready to sell our house and live with family. It wasn't ideal, but if it's what we had to do... we were ready. To maximize our chances for a sale, we decided we had to have the house on the market by June of that year. Through some of my husband's acquaintances, he heard about a job opportunity. Guess what?!! It would be enough for me to stay at home... if we made a few more cuts. After two interviews, he received a job offer in May of that year. Did you hear me?! It was May, and we didn't have to sell our house! God is so good!

    Four months later, we welcomed baby boy #2 into our lives. It was a joyous time. I was able to be at home with both of my babies!!

    Little did I know how different life as a stay-at-home mom is than as a Senior Analyst and Technical Writer. Yes, I'm laughing at this now... three years later.

    Next post... learning to love being at home.